Dealing With the Divorce Aftermath: Parallel Parenting and Its Merits

Posted on: 29 November 2021

Divorce is hard on everyone involved. However, it is hardest on the children, especially when you do not have the right strategies to parent them. The ideal plan should be co-parenting, but this only works when both partners communicate and cooperate. If your partner takes your cooperation as an opportunity to continue with the mistreatment, you are allowed to explore other parenting alternatives like parallel parenting. The solution is safe and keeps communication between the partners to a minimum. Here are some tips to help you get the best out of parallel parenting. 

Come Up With a Plan

The first step in the process should be to come up with a parenting plan. You will have more disagreements when you have not laid ground rules for the parenting plan. When you have a plan in place, you will not spend time arguing with your partner, and your children will experience less stress coming from you. In the strategy, you can agree on times for the visits and how to handle cancellations. For example, you could state that one should inform the other of a cancellation at least a day or two ahead. You can also agree on who attends the child's functions, and where they will spend holidays. 

Get Into Healing Dialogues

Not many people consciously acknowledge the depth of the emotional turmoil that divorce causes them. Sadly, many transfer this pain and trauma onto their children and also their spouses. One of the best ways to start the healing process is minimizing contact between yourself and your spouse for some time. You can also seek professional therapy. Have a self-care routine to help you reconnect with yourself and reduce stress. Also, start thinking about your life moving forward, and set some long-term goals for yourself. 

Get an Advisor or Mediator

Mediation is where the family lawyer or other professional comes in. Communicating with someone that has hurt you is not always easy. Sometimes, the feelings of betrayal and abandonment get the best of you, and you end up lashing out. A mediator is the voice of reason when tempers are flaring, but no one is willing to compromise. You should always consult a family lawyer before making any serious decision about your relationship. 

It is best to opt for the parallel parenting model if you were in a high-conflict marriage. Family law practitioners will guide you through the transition and ensure that the relationship stays functional for the children.